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This article about the case of a British Columbia middle-class couple and their 10-year old Down syndrome son stirred many emotions. I am appalled by the parents' audacious efforts to try and get money from their doctor. Is it the doctor's fault that something went wrong shortly after conception and their son has an extra chromosome? This is an issue of greed and, what is even worse, a lack of acceptance of their boy.
What could be the attitude of their son towards a parent who openly says she would have aborted him had she know his condition before-hand? How sad is it when human love and the blessing of a child to a family can be compared with or exchanged for money, in this case lifetime care of the boy paid by the doctor.
My husband and I are also parents of Ildiko, a 31-year-old Down syndrome child who is our first born. That is why I had such a strong reaction. Would I have aborted her had I known? The answer is a definite and strong NO for several good reasons, one of them that she has made our lives much more meaningful and deep.
A "different" child can bring so many contributions to a family and community, if we only allow it. I know that I have been a much better parent to our two younger children, who in turn I am sure have been positively affected by their sibling. They are better and more caring people because of our special daughter.
Julie Fejes says her daughter, Ildiko, has made "our lives much meaningful and deep." She was appalled that a B.C. couple tried to make a doctor pay for care of their Down syndrome child. |
Ildiko has been working as a part-time library clerk for the federal government for the past 12 years, paying her taxes, contributing to the United Way and other local charities. Ildiko has worked several years as a volunteer visitor in a seniors residence. She is also an athlete who has a purple belt in karate and participates in several sports organized by the Special Olympics and with many achievements in them.
She has a loving personality and a sensitive touch. When she feels that I am down or tired, she gives me a neck massage and a hug.
Sure, there have been many challenges, but there are always challenges bringing up a child. Would the world be a better one without her and other individuals with Down syndrome who contribute in so many ways and give so much love? Certainly not, at least not according to my values and my experience. Julie Fejes, Nepean
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